July 2009
16 posts
1 tag
solution to many problems
Today we were talking about ways to mess with a coworker, and I randomly recalled a conversation I was present for during college. A friend of mine (well call her Katie because thats her name) came in all pissed off at her terrible roommate for something or other, and this time it was oethe last straw. My other friend (well call him Bill, for no reason at all) set to thinking about how to fix the...
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titanic mistake
After being a fan of TMI Thursday for awhile, I figured it was my turn to bring something to the party. Nobody likes the guy who shows up and eats all the taco dip and doesnt bring something along (taco dip is awesome, but the person who figured out the taco seasoning and cream cheese combination is freaking insane). So here goes, and hopefully this makes me less of a moocher. I was the tender...
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i'm scrappy
Don’t count me out! I’ll fight my way back in, because I’m SCRAPPY! ….What? That’s not what this award means? It’s for blogs that “show candid honesty”? Hey, you know what, I’ll take it. Just call me Abe ‘cause I’m about to drop some HONESTY on y’all. I wish I could take credit for being creative enough to come up with...
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...sorry?
I’m just putting this ticket in unaltered as I think the original wording cannot be improved upon. Summary: Client called to ask “Did I know about the thing she needed to finish for today.” Work log: Told her, “No, I don’t” Client was still confused, said she would check with her admin. Hung up on me. Solution: No action taken. Root Cause: User...
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my bike chain cried out
“Did you hear the guy who made WD-40 died?” “Yeah, what are we going to do without him?” “…Squeak?”http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThisIsWhyYourHoldTimeIsSoLong
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wine and cherries
Like everything in my world for the last couple weeks, this story begins with The Wedding. This is also the longest post I’ve done, which I know is against my style here. But every once in awhile you gotta wear red socks just to see if your style might involve red socks. The fiance wanted to get a specific type of candy for our wedding favors that she had while studying abroad. After some...
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mmmm nom nom
fiance: Good morning! me: mornin jeff: so jeff: i noticed last night when i went to bed that we did not have blueberry cake jeff: and this morning when i woke up, we have blueberry cake fiance: must have been the blueberry fairy fiance: i was thinking that the dad’s should wear a different color tuxedo, right now they’re the same as you jeff: sure, whatever you want fiance: this kept...
1 tag
regional differences
I’m in Milwaukee currently, and have lived in the north my whole life. There are a number of phrases that I’ve heard that apparently have southern origins that just don’t make sense to me. I know some of the readers here are bilingual in English and Southern, so any help is appreciated 1. “I’ve been mashin’ the ‘OK’ button, but nothin is...
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or a cupcake maybe
Ive been debating posting this today, as I dont think my words can adequately convey the emotions present in this story. Ive talked to two people this morning who had locked out their accounts because they entered the wrong password three times. Both people were very much upset; not at their password or the stupid computer, but at themselves for entering their password wrong. They kept beating...
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looking up
Best call I’ve had in awhile: “Don’t worry ma’am, people often leave their Caps Lock key on when they type their password, and since you see only asterisks you can’t tell. It’s a common mistake.” “Honey, if it’s true that we all learn from our mistakes, I’d be the smartest damn person on the planet.” “Can I use that as my...
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stupidity follows you home
Our company has people answering the phones 24/7, which makes sense because our clients don’t shut down after 5 or over the weekend. This means that occasionally you have to work the weekend or have an on-call night. This Saturday was my turn for being on-call. This means you get to take home laptop with all of our programs on it, and a cell phone so that people can call you. ...
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can you sense the emotion
Our work logs have to be sanitized for things like opinions and potentially degrading language in the event that our records get requested for legal reasons. If a client has an issue with our support, the first thing a supervisor will do is pull the work log, and you dont want comments in there like oeend user is a dumbass and shouldnt be allowed near a keyboard on a typewriter Here is the...
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eat your heart out fred
So we’re in full-blown wedding planning mode now, and by “we” I mean “fiance does everything and leaves the things only a wild monkey could screw up to me”. And I’m OK with that, because when it comes to wedding stuff, I probably am only slightly more reliable than a wild monkey. The dining room currently looks like a Micheals Arts and Crafts store exploded...
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borders
My place of employment is close to a Borders Bookstore, so naturally I get most of my books there. I have a frequent buyer card, or whatever it is that you sign up for there, even though I don’t think my points are useful for anything at all. What I do get is a lot of spam, only about 1/3 of which contains useful coupons. Today I got an email which very excitedly and merrily informed me...
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computers suck
“Dear Computer Fixing Person, For the love of God, my work computer is dreadfully SLOW. Like glacially slow. It makes lots of whirring noises and gets really upset when I want to use Quickbooks and (italicized) Excel at the same time. I am currently at the top of the company list to get a new computer, but The Controller always (italicized) blames the pace on the weather. I often call The...
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are you using a typewriter?
“Hi, I need my password reset” “OK, we can do that for you, what screen are you logging into right now?” “Huh?” “I need to know what program you’re logging into, so I know which password of yours to reset, so can you just tell me what you have on the screen?” “I’m not logging into anything” “Oh, um, well, on the...